Why. I hear this word about fifty times a day.
Clean your room. Why?
Don’t pull the dogs tail. Why?
Don’t make that face at me. Why?
The dog is not a ladder so please don’t step on her. Why?
My personal favorite and one I never thought I would ever say. Don’t use used toilet paper to wipe your nose. Why?
My daughter is a never ending source of why. Could it be childhood innocence, perhaps. Is it her testing my patience when it comes to everyday tasks? Probably.
Yet her inquiry into the world around her never ceases to amaze me. She is constantly wondering why.
I often admire her willingness to ask this question. As a someone who has lived a few more years than my daughter, I find myself asking this question less with each passing year. Oh sure I may wonder why something is the way it is, but I refuse to admit to others that I don’t understand it.
I’d much rather walk about the room completely confused than ask someone else why. My own desire to appear smarter than others often precludes my desire to ask the question why. And yet despite my not wanting to ask others why, I find myself asking God this question almost daily.
There are many instances in my life were something happens that has me wondering why. Some event, whether it be large or small will causes me to look up to the heavens and with that child like innocence my daughter so easily portrays I will shrug my shoulders and ask God why.
And when I don’t get an answer right away, I do what any other child does. Throw my toys down and throw a good old temper tantrum. My tantrums typically involve a good sulking in the garage or a little bit of yelling at the dog and if I’m really mad a combination of the two.
It is at these moments when my why’s go unanswered, I start to feel abandoned by God. I start to question not only what I asked God about, but my entire belief in God as well. It is often way to easy to allow my why’s to spiral into fits of tantrum and doubt.
During these moments of tantrum, when I am sulking in my garage or giving my dog a piece of my mind, I need to realize that it is okay to have these moments of doubt, but I also need to realize that I should not focus on them. It is okay to ask God why, but it also okay for Him not to answer right away.
I need to trust that at some point God will provide an answer for all my whys even though the answer He give can also leave me wondering why.